Today it was declared by my children, not only at home multiple times, but also in public that I'm the meanest mom. I have never said, "I hate you" or "I don't like you" to my children... ever. I will say, "I love you, I just don't like this behavior." Last week, my girls and I were at Girl Scout Camp everyday. We hiked in the woods in 90 degree weather, got rained on, sat around a hot fire cooking food, made crafts, and earned lots of patches. We had a lot of fun that we pretty much wore ourselves to exhaustion. As soon as we arrived at home, the girls were to empty their bags, and go straight upstairs to shower. Then we would eat something edible for dinner and then we crashed. I was lucky to do one load of laundry, just so we could keep wearing our camp shirts everyday. Because of this chaotic schedule, my kids and I barely got enough sleep, which lead to all this mean talk from my children. The girls have been yelling and spitting at each other, and then just that fast, they can swirl around and be super nice. My 3-year-old started hitting me and yelling "no!" for everything I say. How did my children become so mean to me and I'm called the meanie? I think I figured it out. I treated my girls to ice cream one day and then their ears shut down for the rest of the afternoon. It was then I realized that I am too nice. How can I be too nice and mean all at once? I'm a mom, that's how. Are moms too nice? Maureen Healy, the creator of Growing Happy Kids, a worldwide organization committed to bringing out the best in children, says that parents who have a "wishbone" parenting approach fight with their kids "wishing" for their children's behavior to get better. We tend to feel guilty about our parenting because of the situation we deal with, such as divorce or working too much. "Parenting with a backbone takes inner strength," says Healy. You can be positive with your children but you must be firm and set healthy boundaries. Setting healthy boundaries takes practice, but the more you set clear boundaries and positive expectations for your children will get mature to be more capable and succeed in life. So what to do? Pay attention at your parenting style. Do you need to be more consistent? More firm or less strict? The goal is to find a robust balance of being positive and firm so your children can learn healthy boundaries and become a positive and successful adult. 5 boundaries to consider for practice: Be a good role model. Show your kids how to follow the rules. Set clear rules. Write them down and hang them up for the whole family to see. Set consequences the whole family will understand. Be consistent. Don't follow through with a consequence one day and "let it go" the next. It's confusing to kids and you will get resistance in return. Adjust the boundaries to be age appropriate. Nobody ever said raising childrens was trouble-free, that's why it takes practice. Setting clear, healthy boundaries for your children shows them that you want them to grow up to be a positive and successful adult, and that you love them. Image Source: http://quoteszilla.com/parents-quotes-sayings/
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